Depression

Maybe you know, maybe you don't. But the truth is, that when I seem to drop off the "online" radar, it's because I'm dealing with depression.

I have a serious depression disorder and take medication for it. Most of the time, I do OK. Last week, however, I screwed up pretty bad. I forgot to take my medication all week! I got off track since my schedule was messed up. I need to do things in order every day to remember to take my medicine. I didn't realize I'd forgotten to take it until I was shopping at Wal-Mart and wanted to cry (OK, Wal-Mart usually makes me want to cry, but this was different!) When I finally took my medicine, everything came back into focus. I was able to organize the house, finish up some sketches... it's almost like magic. The medicine really makes a difference with me.

So, I just wanted to explain that this is a big reason why I get behind with work and art. It's tough being here alone, with my husband far away. I have no family in town and only a few acquaintances. Some weeks, I don't talk to another adult (even by phone) except for maybe one or two times.

I spend a lot of my energy on my kids. When I run out, art gets pushed aside. My daughter isn't easy to work with, but I try. I do love them both. I hope I am able to do enough for them. I am glad that my husband believes in me. :)

So that's what happens. Lots of people have depression and everyone handles it a different way. I'm glad that I got treatment for it. I'm glad I have the Internet. It makes me feel less alone sometimes.